Who Do I Think I Am?

For months, I’ve had a heart burden that I’ve prayed over. Every day, I’ve shed tears before handing it over to God. But was I really handing it over? Or was I still trying to control the outcome? I began to wonder and pray about that. Then, it hit me.  I may not be praying correctly concerning this situation.

You see, when God has to work within another individual’s heart and logic to accomplish what is best for me, it takes more time. I mean, it must. With respect to my petition, God is also working for what’s good for the other person. I imagine that is a delicate juggling task because both people are exactly who He created them to be. Both are valid in what they believe would heal their personal hurt. It’s balancing the ways of compromise that God must find daunting. 

I had been coaching myself to “hand it over to God,” when all the while, I was trying to control the outcome. The hardest thing to face, is that what I may want for the outcome, may not be what God wants for me, or the other person. I found myself making suggestions to God in how to reach the other person’s heart on my behalf. What?! Had I lost my mind?  I must be plumb mad to think that Judi, a speck of dust, could suggest to the all-powerful, almighty, all-knowing, God of the universe, how to do His job. What would make me think that I knew the other person better than God?

It’s painful to think that God may not be on board with my version of a happy outcome. There is nothing that this speck of dust can do to make someone act in the manner I think they should. The outcome will be the outcome, whether I agree with it or not.

Do I believe that we will heal and the scar created will become a much stronger piece of skin? Yes, I believe that with every fiber of my being. I believe because I have faith. I have faith that God is working for both of our good. I have faith in the knowledge that God puts integral people in our lives for His divine purpose. I believe that love; God's love for us, and our love for each other, is the medicine to heal all wounds.

There’s much I can’t control, but here’s what I know I must do: I must always remember who God is. I must remember what it means to “hand things over.” Whenever I hand something over, it is no longer mine. I must do so with the understanding that I have no say in what becomes of it. I must fully grasp the understanding of the words, “Thy Will be done.” And I must accept the outcome that God delivers.